How to Give Erotic Massage That Your Partner Will Never Forget

How to Give Erotic Massage

Performing an erotic massage on your partner is an excellent way to bring a new type of sensual care and relaxation into your sexual routine. An erotic massage can be performed on a partner of any gender, and in addition to providing sensual stimulation, can provide actual health benefits, including stress relief, lowered blood pressure, and increased flexibility and mobility. Here are some foolproof ways to deliver an erotic massage your partner won’t soon forget. 

Essential Ingredients for Giving an Erotic Massage

With any new sexual or erotic interaction, it’s important to first discuss with your partner what type of touch and stimulation they’re looking for, and to ensure both of you are aware of any boundaries and limitations you might have. Enthusiastic, clear consent is key to a satisfying erotic encounter — and that includes a massage!

After you’ve discussed the massage with your partner, there are a few things you can keep on hand — as well as some techniques you may wish to use — to ensure an unforgettable experience. 

Setting the Mood Is Key

Whether this is the first time you’re giving your partner an erotic massage, or if it’s simply something that you’re doing to bring a little bit of novelty and variety into your relationship, it’s likely that you want the massage to feel special. Set the mood by clearing any clutter or mess from the room in which you plan to perform the massage, whether that’s your living room or bedroom. Dim the lights, and light a few candles — you may want to choose scented candles with a natural, calming scent (nothing too overwhelming!) to add some soothing aromatherapy to the massage.

Make sure the surface where you plan to perform the massage is clean and comfortable, whether it’s a bed or a sturdy table — if you have access to a massage table, use it, but you can perform an erotic massage on any surface that your partner is comfortable lying down on! 

Choose Ambient Music

Music that is too distracting, upbeat, or contains too many lyrics might not be suitable for an erotic massage, since it might be more engaging than relaxing. If your goal is it to set the stage for post-massage sex, choose slow-tempo music that might get you and your partner “in the mood,” so to speak — if there’s a genre of music or playlist you often choose for sex, go for that! 

Use Oils or Lotions

While regular lubricant will work as a massage oil (and you may wish to use it for stimulating your partner’s penis or clitoris), grab some special massage oil or a fancy lotion to use on your partner’s body during the massage. Warming oils, lotions containing essential oils, or even CBD-infused fragrances can add a heightened level of relaxation, and enhance your partner’s overall pleasure. 


This is an erotic massage, after all. In addition to focusing on your partner’s relaxation by massaging their back, neck, shoulders, and legs — all areas where we tend to carry stress and tension — gradually incorporate their erogenous zones into the massage to incorporate erotic pleasure and sensation. Start by gently teasing their nipples or inner thighs, or any other spots on their body that you know bring them sexual stimulation and pleasure, such as their feet, ears or earlobes, or bum. This type of gentle, gradual teasing can lead to more focused stimulation of your partner’s penis or clitoris. 

Sensual Massage Techniques

While only a trained massage therapist can provide guaranteed, clinical results from a massage, there are a number of techniques you can try on your partner to offer relaxation and stimulation.

 1) Shiatsu

Shiatsu is a type of massage with roots in traditional Chinese medicine, but whose techniques were mostly developed in Japan. Shiatsu massage involves applying pressure to specific points on the body in order to encourage the flow of energy, also known as “chi.” Shiatsu massage is more focused on applying pressure with the fingers and thumbs than on the gentle, stroking motions more common to therapeutic massage. Specific points on the body, such as the hands, feet, chest, or lower back, are targeted to help energy flow more smoothly, ease pain, and alleviate concerns such as anxiety or fatigue. 

2) Compression

Compression massage is performed by applying rhythmic pressure onto specific parts of the body to alleviate tension and pain. This type of massage might be welcome if your partner is very athletic, as it’s useful for those who experience muscle strain or fatigue from sports or physical activity. 

3) Stroking

The most common type of massage, stroking, involves applying pressure (from light to deep) while moving your fingers or hands across your partner’s body in long or circular motions. It’s a deeply relaxing type of massage that provides relief from stress and tension, and can also relieve muscle strain. 

4) Friction

Friction massage is done by moving the hands or fingers in a circular motion to stimulate a muscle below the skin. In this type of massage, the skin and hands/fingers must move together — it’s important not to cause friction on the skin, as this may result in chafing and discomfort. 

5) Kneading

Kneading involves focusing on a specific muscle or area on the body, and gently or firmly applying concentrated, rhythmic pressure — think of it just like kneading bread! 

Difference Types of Erotic Massage

In addition to more traditional massage techniques, there are several erotic massage methods you may want to try with your partner.

  1. Tantric massage: This massage has its origins on the Indian subcontinent. It incorporates elements of the Kama Sutra and focuses on interconnectivity, so it’s common for the masseuse to spend a bit of time with the client beforehand.
  2. Yoni massage: This type of massage focuses on women or individuals with clitorises. It involves soft caresses around the lower back and hips, to build energy around this region of the body leading up to a climactic release of energy. 
  3. Nuru massage: Essentially, this is a nude massage, where the masseuse uses massage oil liberally and uses the pressure of their naked body to work out kinks and knots.
  4. Lingam massage: This involves stroking the penis, and also incorporates a massage of the testicles, perineum, and external prostate.
  5. Soapy massage: For this type of massage, both you and your partner stand in the shower, and the person being massaged is lathered in soap while also receiving a massage. 
  6. Happy ending massage: Essentially, an erotic massage’s big final act involves bringing the person being massaged to orgasm through direct genital stimulation.